I shook my head as soon as the news stations were previewing this story. They didn’t have the footage yet, because it was still Sunday, but they described it in detail. Some disgruntled Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at President Bush, during a press conference this weekend. Yeah, I knew the Internet was going to explode in one giant Liberal orgasm. There is, of course, no outrage from the mainstream media. They are, however, reporting that thousands of people in Iraq are protesting the imprisonment of the journalist. I just have a couple of points here:

1. President Bush has pretty fucking good reflexes.  Watch the video. The world practically slows down around him as he enters the liquid universe of Shoe-Time ala The Matrix. There is no spoon, motherfucker!

2. Where the shit was the secret service? They should have been on that guy like a hobo on a ham sandwich five seconds before he bent over to untie his left shoe. Instead, President Bush had to rely on a bunch of journalists to take the wacko down. Imagine if that had been a fucking knife or a vial of acid or a grenade. It’s time to give the International Press Corp the ol’ American airport security treatment.

3. Love him or hate him, President Bush is still our President. If you have a problem with the guy, you’re welcome to voice your concerns, protest, burn him in effigy, whatever. What we don’t do is let other countries talk shit or throw shit at him. Look at it this way: You ever have a family member that did shit that bothered you, like an alcoholic dad or something? You ever talk shit about him to your friend? That’s fine, right? Of course, you’re blowing off steam. You ever have that same friend talk shit about your dad afterward? It fucking riles you up, right? It should, because that’s you’re dad! Same situation here. We’re all Americans. It’s time to show some fucking team loyalty and defend your President.

What really bothers me about all of this is how much Liberals are enjoying this, blissfully unaware of their own double standards. When Conservatives crack jokes like:

Liberals go insane with outrage! “How dare you make light of assassinating The One!” But when someone writes a movie or a book that explores a President Bush-assassination, the Left is either mute or on its feet applauding.

Here’s one last thing I think the majority of the world is overlooking: When was the last time an Iraqi could throw his shoes at a government figure and not be killed on the spot? Whether you’re for or against the Iraq war, it has at least provided more freedom to the people who live there. Who knows? One day, after an Iraq democracy blossoms, we may enjoy the privilege of throwing shoes at  the Iraqi Prime Minister when he comes to visit.